WTB the Early Riser gene....

One of the things that I hate most about my life are my sleeping patterns. I would say that I don't have any pattern at all, but I sleep too much. And I hate it. I waste so much time that I could use for other things, but holy damn is it hard to wake up when my alarm goes off (when I hear it at all!). I am super jealous of all the people that go to bed and almost instantly fall asleep and then can get up at six or seven a.m with no issues. My boyfriend is one of those people, and it kills me that I'm not the same way.

The pattern is this: I go to sleep whenever I feel sleepy (which is fine) but that time can be anywhere between ten at night to four in the morning (not fine). I set my alarm to wake me up at 9am, which is a reasonable time if not later than most people. This is why it's so embarassing, I feel like the laziest person in the world. I make a conscious decision the night before to wake up when that alarm goes off. What is hard to counter is the brain fog I'm in whenever it does. I get as far as "make the noise stop!" and then slip back into unconsciousness. I can't trust myself in that state to make the decision I would want to make if I was fully alert. So when the inevitable happens and I don't wake up in time, I continue to beat myself up over it, effectively ruining my day and days after that.

I have no idea how to fix this, and it's having negative effects on my life. I miss more morning class than I should regardless of my medical issues, and I don't get to spend as much time with my boyfriend when I'm at his place for the weekend. God, I need to get my shit together....

Le Petit Prince

If I ever have children, this is going to be one of the first things that I make them read (after Goodnight Moon, Grandfather Time, The Polar Express, etc.). Yeah, that's right MAKE them read! And they'll like it! But I digress. This book, though written for children, could certainly be read by adults and come away with a profound experience. I read this for the second time for my elementary school's gifted program, and its core message of love, warning against narrowmindedness and other lessons have stuck with me. This book should be read by children everywhere. "The Little Prince" was written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, a French aviator. In the book, the narrator (a pilot) crashes into a desert and is stranded. Saint-Exupéry had a similar experience, crashing into the Sahara which he wrote about in his memoir "Wind, Sand and Stars".



The beginning describes the meeting between the pilot and the Little Prince. Afterwards, the Little Prince's home asteroid B612 is introduced. He spends his time tending his asteroid that contains three volcanoes and a rose amongst other things. The Little Prince loves the single rose on his planet but she cannot love him back because of her own shortcomings. The Little Prince eventually leaves his home asteroid and sets off to explore the universe. On each new asteroid he meets a new adult who is ridiculous and foolish in their own way. Among them are:



The King

The Conceited Man

The Drunkard

The Businessman

The Lamplighter

The Geographer



The last asteroid he comes to is Earth, where he meets a snake in the desert who offers to get the Prince back to his home planet. While he is in the desert he comes upon a multitude of rosebushes. This makes him sad, as he thought his rose was the only one in the whole universe. His thoughts turn dour, and he begins to think perhaps he is not a great prince after all since he only has three volcanoes and a now-common rose for his kingdom.



The most touching and memorable part of the book is in Chapter 21 after the Prince has met the desert fox, and he is leaving the desert. This is the heart of the book. Throughout his travels the Prince has learned many lessons, and he knows the truths that fox has spoken to him, but with the fox's words the prince's future is made clear to him.



"Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux....C'est le temps que tu as perdu pour ta rose qui fait ta rose si importante. Les hommes ont oublié cette vérité, dit le renard. Mais tu ne dois pas l’oublier. Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé."



Translation: "Here is my secret. It's quite simple: one sees clearly only with the heart. The essential is invisible to the eyes. It is the time you have lost for your rose that makes your rose so important. People have forgotten this truth, but you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose. . ."



The fox explains that the Prince's rose is unique and special, because she is the one whom he loves. He also explains that in a way he has tamed the flower, as she has tamed him, and that this is why he now feels responsible for her. Also, the fact that the fox calls it a secret is important. This knowledge is not available to all, and is in fact, a privilege. The lessons can only be learned through experience.

Adventures of a Gym Rat

Before my diagnosis of kidney failure, I was very into going to the gym. I had gotten a membership at Planet Fitness for $20 a month, which was the "Black Card" membership meaning I had access to ALL the gym locations, free unlimited tanning and the ability to bring a guest whenever I liked. I went about three to four days a week and felt fabulous about it. After the anemia hit me however, I couldn't get enough oxygen to my muscles in addition to being severely exhausted all the time. They were kind enough to put my account on hold for three months so that I wouldn't have to pay the fees while I was otherwise incapacitated. So now, roughly five months later I have returned to the fitness fold.

 Holy crap was it brutal. You don't realize til you get on that treadmill how much of a toll being sedentary for five to six months can be. Exercises I used to perform perfectly are now a struggle. Namely, staying on a stability ball. Anyways, I've decided to track my progress via weight and body measurements. Obviously, I'm not trying to lose weight here. When working out regularly my weight hovered around 125lbs. Now I weigh 120lbs and I have more chub. Silly muscle converting to fat. I tried to get myself back into it about a month ago just by walking Zoe, which has been going well because I now have no pain when my new kidney gets jostled from my walking. I'll share new measurements, workouts I use, and other info as time goes on.